another day of letting go

I am up again in the wee hours of the morning
one of those nights when a million things
are whirling around in my head
and I just can't seem to quiet them.
I was challenged yesterday in my devotions
- to realize how completely God is directing my life
He is orchestrating it
I don't have to beg Him to lead me
He IS leading me.
as His child, I am in His care
and oh how tenderly He cares
that is a comfort right now,
especially when I think of those that I love
...but as I try to sleep tonight
I find myself fighting with fretful thoughts
about how some that I love are having to stuggle
I want to figure out a way to 'fix'  their stuggles
to reach in and make things easier
but that isn't my job anymore
never really was I suppose,
but for sure it isn't now.
so here I am acting like I doubt God's care for them
why do I struggle with the very thing that God is teaching me?
why now, after such clear teaching from the heart of God
about His faithful care and leading
do I begin to doubt the truth of it?
my heart doesn't doubt it
but my mind does
I toss and turn and worry
acting as if I don't beleive that God is watching out for them
when I know beyond a doubt
that their deepest desire is to follow and serve Him
is He not tenderly watching over them?
is he not carefully and purposefully leading them?
has He not shown this to be true
over and over and over.......
I absolutely know the answer to that
- absolutely.
so now, I have to let them go into His care.
another day of letting go.
another day of being reminded that I am not in charge
but One who is all wise
and all loving
and all knowing
IS